Bonding
by Shy Snootles
Summary: A little bonding moment between Anakin and his unborn children.


Anakin woke up with a vague feeling of restlessness. Blinking and squinting a little at the faint light filtering in the bedroom, he tried to concentrate on where that elusive feeling came from. Its source was his sleeping wife beside him, so he turned about, rising on one elbow. He reached out with the Force, but found nothing. Padme was sleeping peacefully on her back, slightly turned on to her left side, facing him.

His gaze was immediately drawn to her protruding belly. From her fifth month of pregnancy, Padme had found it pretty uncomfortable sleeping on her stomach, so she had to sleep either on her back or on one side, neither of them being her favourite sleeping position; but she had no choice. It took some time, but now she managed to fall sleep with a minimum of twisting and turning before she found the perfect posture.

Anakin's heart filled with pride and love at the beautiful sight, and with a sigh, he lay down again and closed his eyes.

A heartbeat later, he felt _it_ again. A vague feeling of fear and anxiety that tugged at his heartstrings.

Suddenly wide awake, Anakin rose on his elbow again and searched his wife's aura, trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from. His eyes settled instantly on her belly. Yes. That was most definitely the source of those emanations.

Moved beyond belief, Anakin slipped down in the bed until he was level with her stomach. Carefully, he rolled up the top of the two-piece light blue nightdress she wore, just enough to reveal her belly.

The sight of it brought tears to his eyes, as it always did. The miracle of life. Life the two of them had created and it was growing now, steady and strong, ready to bring light and meaning to its parents' lives.

Padme had been so patient and understanding, Anakin thought, not for the first time. She was the only one experiencing it all - the physical and emotional changes, the strain on her system, and also all the joy and magic of bearing new life inside her - but she didn't want to keep it all to herself. She knew how much Anakin wanted this, how much having a child meant to him, and she eagerly encouraged him to _feel_ it all.

She had woken up accidentally in the middle of the night and found him touching her belly, and even talking to their child in loving whispers. He blushed like a little boy caught with his fingers in the cookie jar, but she just smiled and nodded at him, going back to sleep again, leaving him alone to enjoy these bonding moments with their baby.

Anakin stared at the prominent stomach for a while and then closed his eyes, trying to get in touch again with the strange feeling that had awakened him.

There it was. He'd swear it was directed at him personally. An indistinct fear that cried out to be soothed.

"What's the matter with you, huh?" he whispered softly. "You're supposed to be sleeping, or kicking, or sucking your thumb. Let us do all the worrying. You only have to make sure that you have five fingers on every hand and five toes on every foot. We'll take care of the rest." He smiled, trying to picture the image of his child in his mind.

Then, he saw it. A small bulge appeared next to Padme's navel, and then disappeared.

Anakin's eyes opened wide. He had felt the fetus' kicks and movements through his wife's clothes, but it was the first time he saw it through her naked flesh.

Accompanying the kick, a surge of unease filled Anakin's mind anew. His heart broke.

"What is it, angel?" he found himself asking as he inched closer protectively. "Don't tell your mother I called you that or she could get jealous," he smiled. "I don't know if you're a boy or a girl, and I don't care. You're my little angel either way." He drew a pattern on the soft belly with his forefinger, deep in thought. And then, words started flowing. "I'm scared too, you know. I'm scared of so many things. And I also feel guilty, because the world you'll see in a few weeks will be an ugly and evil one. But you know what?" his face got animated. "I have the feeling that you'll make this universe a better place. I hope that your mother and I will raise you to love, not to hate. I hope I can purge from me all this anger I feel more and more lately. This war is driving me insane, and I don't know how long I'll be able to hold on." His eyes darkened, but a new wave of distress quickly sobered him. "You and your mother are all the light and hope in my life. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I'd be as good as dead. Nothing would ever matter to me again." He pressed down gently with his palm. "Please, don't leave me," he begged. "I know you need me, but I need you more. So much more!" He bent down and kissed his wife's stomach needfully.

There was an intense silence in the room as the young man regained control of his emotions.

"I'm very fortunate," he murmured past the lump in his throat. "At last, I have been given the opportunity to feel useful in this pregnancy. Your poor mother's doing all the work." He looked up and smiled at his sleeping beloved. "But when you're born, we'll both protect you and take care of you. You'll never be alone and unloved for as long as I live. I promise you, my little angel. Now go to sleep, and if you need me again, I'll be here."

As if on cue, more bulges appeared on Padme's belly and Anakin smiled, as reassured as his now content child. When one of the bulges stayed more than the others, he leaned over and kissed it.

An explosion of ecstatic happiness filled Anakin's mind, and he knew it wasn't only his own happiness that he was feeling, but the baby's too.

"We still have no name for you," he whispered to it apologetically. "Your mother and I have been thinking about some names, but somehow, none of them seem good enough for you. It would help if we knew if you're a boy or a girl." He chuckled, feeling playful all of a sudden. "You can help us with that. Kick once for yes and twice for no. Are you a girl?"

A few seconds later, one bulge appeared on Padme's belly.

"Oh!" Anakin's face lit up. "You're a girl! A baby girl! I knew it, although your mother keeps saying that you're a boy." He kissed the much loved flesh again. "You're my baby girl, then?"

Two kicks.

Anakin froze in his tracks and frowned.

"No? You're not my baby girl?"

Two bulges appeared below Padme's navel.

"Are you a boy, then?" Anakin asked, in total confusion now.

One kick.

"What is this? You can't be a boy and a girl at the same time. Are you having me on?"

No answer.

Somehow, Anakin could picture his child giggling mischievously in his mother's womb.

"I see." Anakin pretended to get annoyed. "I don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but you ARE a tease." He smiled happily. "I love you anyway. I like sense of humour in people, or in fetuses." He snickered at his own joke, reaching out and drawing a straight line with his finger across Padme's belly, pressing down slightly.

When he moved his hand away, he saw a bulge drawing a straight line on the same spot.

Holding his breath, Anakin drew a "V", and when he moved his hand away, a second "V" was drawn from inside Padme.

Biting his lower lip, Anakin pressed down three times with his finger. He got a mirror reply a moment later.

The young Jedi couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't know if what was happening was normal, all he knew was that everything inside him was reaching out desperately to the tiny being growing within his wife. And even though there was no distinct thought or clear consciousness attached to the replies he was getting, he could feel a reflection of his desperate need emanating from the depths of Padme's body.

His family. He belonged at last. He was a part of something bigger than him, something that was of his own doing and that would go on living after he died. A fierce instinct for protection rose inside him, and he swore to honour it until his dying day.

He grasped Padme's hand, and she returned the pressure automatically in her sleep. Shaken, he reached out with his other hand, his mechanical hand, and hesitated for a moment when he was about to touch the vulnerable belly. With the utmost gentleness, he placed it there for the first time. The warmth and love reaching out from inside that prominent stomach hit him almost physically.

"Force, I can't wait to look at you with my own eyes and cover your tiny face with kisses!" he exclaimed, resting his cheek on the surprisingly hard surface. "My little angel, my precious blessing. I loved you from the moment your mother told me you were coming. I'll need you for as long as I live. I'll try not to fail you, and if I do, don't give up on me. I'll always love you. I'll always be with you. Always, no matter what."

Just then, he felt something pressing up against his cheek. Anakin closed his eyes and immersed himself in the pure contact. They were touching. His child and him were touching, with only a few millimetres of flesh separating them. The tears finally escaped, and fell on Padme. He wiped them away with his fingers as a warm cocoon of love surged up from inside his wife and wrapped him in feathery wings.

Anakin's insides churned with a throb that turned him inside out. It was hot, and then it was cold, and when the feeling faded, the embers that remained where neither hot nor cold, but lukewarm. It was like floating on a sun-warmed pond, surrounded by the shielding embrace of the waters, knowing that you'll be safe there forever.

A jubilant smile illuminated Anakin's features, and bestowing one last devoted kiss on the tight belly, he moved up Padme's body, gathered her in his arms and spooned her. He rolled down the blue top and kept his hand on it, unable and unwilling to relinquish the connection between him and his child.

"Padme," he called softly. "Wake up for a second, my love."

"Mmmm, wha-?" she mumbled, stirring a little.

"I have to tell you something that just can't wait," Anakin whispered to her, excited like a little boy. "I know what our child's name will be, if it happens to be a boy."

The thrilling joy in her husband's voice awakened Padme, and she half-turned in Anakin's arms, trying to see his face. She couldn't quite manage it, so she limited herself to rest against his strong chest. She could believe that nothing bad would happen to her, to them, as long as they had this.

"Really?" her voice was full of curiosity and expectation. "What name?"

"Luke." He uttered the word with such reverence that it felt like a liquid caress.

Padme's heart skipped a beat at the sound of that name. It reverberated all over her and settled in her very core, filling it with lights and colours.

"Anakin, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed in awe. "It's more than that. It's perfect!"

"Yes, it is," he nodded against the side of her head.

Padme's skin covered with goosebumps when he nuzzled her cheek.

"And you just inspired me how we'll call it if it's a girl," she squeezed the arm around her belly.

"Really? Tell me!" Anakin could barely hold back his excitement.

Padme shook her head naughtily.

"Uh-uh. I'll tell you after the child's birth."

"That's not fair," Anakin protested. "If it's a boy, I'll never know."

Padme smiled to herself. In some things, Anakin would never grow up. And she prayed that he never did. They were losing so much. The world they used to know, was falling apart, and it was taking its toll on them.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you anyway," she promised him. "Besides, if we have a boy now, who knows? The next one could be a girl."

"The next one?" Anakin's eyebrows skyrocketed.

"Or the next after that," she said, unflappable.

"The next after that?"

Padme had to laugh at the raw fear in her husband's voice. Pity that her belly didn't allow her now the agility she used to have. What would she give to see his face!

"How many children do you want to have?" she asked after calming down.

"I- I don't know," the question took Anakin by surprise. "As many as you want, I guess. I'll love them all as much as I love this little angel here," his palm cupped the rounded stomach with a passion he had never known to possess.

The endearment to their child warmed Padme's soul. It didn't matter how hard their life was after the baby was born. He or she would never lack the fierce love and protection of their parents, always and forever.

"Your little angel, huh?" she almost purred, snuggling back against him.

"Yes," Anakin nodded, holding her more securely. "You're my angel, and he or she will be my little angel. My guardian angels." He looked into the distance and his face became suddenly serious. "My entire life." His body shuddered out of the blue, and he buried his face in the long brown curls, sniffing at their familiar, comforting scent.

"Just like you are ours," Padme whispered back, bringing Anakin's hand to her lips and kissing it with something akin to despair. Then, she brought it back down and placed it on her belly once more.

They interlaced their fingers and cradled together the precious life that was hope and future.

Their future.

THE END.


End file.
